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[15 Oct 2009|11:51am] [ mood | sick ] [ music | Rhineland (Heartland) // Beirut ] So I've started university. Technically lectures start on Monday, but I've had meetings all week and have moved in and everything. I moved in on Sunday, and it was a pretty miserable day. My parents weren't here, so it was just me and Ceri, my brother's girlfriend who lives in York. It could have been an acceptable day but Ceri was in a really bad mood. It wasn't directed at me personally or started by something I had done, but it was painfully clear nonetheless. As a result, she did not say a word to me the whole morning despite me trying to open conversations. Admittedly it is her house, but I was nervous as hell and missing my family so I would've preferred some encouragement. It just got worse though, and although she started to speak more when we went on our way, almost literally every sentence that came out of her mouth was a complaint. She complained about fitting my stuff in the car, about the traffic there, about the line to get room keys, about the people working there, etc. Then she of course complained about getting things into my room, about how my house smelled weird, and about how my room wasn't as clean as she had expected. Overall, I felt incredibly stressed all morning/early afternoon because of her mood, and her comments made me dislike my room. In fact, I'm still not a fan of it. It made me sad to think about how if my mom were here, she'd say all of these amazing things about where I live and would make me like it. I don't mind being here, I do have my own lovely bathroom, but even now I'm excited for my Mom to get here and make me stop thinking about how Ceri said it didn't look clean and about how no one has even been in my room. Then we went to the shop. I wanted to go to Tesco because it's big and I know their products, but although I ostensibly had a choice, we ended up going to Morrison since that's where she wanted to go. At Morrison, they had nothing I wanted, and all of the products were already taken by the other 938749287 students who were there shopping for their house. She left right as I started to go home and get my last suitcase, so I had absolutely no help with shopping and was stressed and overwhelmed as a result. When she came back, I was almost done and still had gotten no help or advice. We went back to my house, and I was so stressed and upset that I didn't ask her for any help, nor did she really offer to help. She left without hardly saying anything, no hug or words of encouragement, and I was left in an empty white room with two suitcases, a guitar, two Ikea bags full of cooking utensils and sheets, several small bags, and with no one to even help me make my bed. I tried to keep it together and say to myself, "Look, just don't think about it, you're almost 20, you can unpack everything yourself". Needless to say, it didn't work, and I don't think I've ever been so upset my whole life. The next few days were not good. We went out that evening to some club, and it was my nightmare event. Everyone just got smashed, and I counted down the hours. I had to feign happiness since our second year "parents" were there and had to make sure we were having a good time. The next day, I was alone for the most part except for spending some time in the evening with a girl named Margaret who was the only other person who didn't go to the "Fresher's Ball." Tuesday night was by far the worst, where I went to this on-campus DJ event but got ditched within a minute, and then couldn't find anyone. I went home after spending a total of about three minutes at the event, after which I went back home. I don't want to be dramatic and say that I lost my will to do anything, but I barely ate for three days. I didn't unpack my suitcases for over two days, and I still haven't arranged almost anything despite my clothes being put away. I know everyone goes through this and that I'm incredibly lucky for even getting to go to university, but these few days have been some of the worst and loneliest that I've ever experienced. I feel like I've cried more in these past five days than I have in the past couple of years combined. Admittedly yesterday was better. I was invited to my psychology friend's house and spent the evening with her and two of her housemates. One of them was a huge dick - he claimed that anyone who did debate was an idiot - but overall it was nice not being alone. It didn't stop me from getting upset when I came home, though, and I'm excited a day when I don't have to do things to distract myself from feeling so alone. Honestly, it feels like I'm from another planet. Since it's the beginning of the year, all of the English people just talk about where in England they're from and about where their accents come from. On top of that, every evening my housemates just talk about getting drunk, how drunk they were the night before, or about previous experiences getting drunk - all while drinking, of course. I know that people will calm down after "Fresher's Week", but so far I don't get along with anyone in my house very well. I know things will get better though, and I know that once I start my course I will have a better time. For now, though, I'm just counting down the hours until Sebastian comes back to England (tomorrow) and counting down the days until I can go back to Newcastle (8 days). I wish this wasn't so hard. I wish I had family here, I wish my old friends were here, I wish Emma was here, I wish I was having an amazing time like everyone else. If there are still people reading, then know that I would do anything to have even one of you here with me for a day. Ophey 11 Yen| Ikura?

[09 Sep 2009|11:40pm] [ mood | tired ] So I'm gone for a mere 36 hours and I have more friend posts in that time than I've had in the past few weeks? I may have to celebrate with a proper entry tomorrow :O To briefly recap though, I'm in England having a swell time with Emma. We got back from London an hour ago and I am knackered. More later! Ophey Ikura?

[27 Aug 2009|02:51am] [ mood | sleepy ] Hey guys, this is another advice post but maybe this one is more interesting. As you all know, I'm moving to England in about 10 days and lately I've been wondering about what to do about my dyed hair. I feel like dying it constantly is a bit tedious, particularly since I'm doing it on my own, but on the other hand it's pretty tedious getting the dye out/bleaching it and everything. While I do feel like a change in some ways, I've also heard that black hair suits me quite well and as such the change back to blond (or to a lighter color like brown, at least) is a bad idea. So my question is this: Should I keep dying my hair black? Or should I change it back to blond/make it lighter? I realize that the temptation here for all of you is to tell me to go back to blond since you've only ever seen me with black hair and you're curious. But please resist this temptation! In all seriousness, do you actually think it would look better on me? Or do you think that I look good with black hair? I dyed my hair black yesterday just to get rid of the roots, but I probably have to decide within a week what I want to do about it. Any input is appreciated! Ophey 4 Yen| Ikura?

[25 Aug 2009|10:17am] [ mood | sick ] A question for people with MacBooks, if you have the time: I had iCal, the calendar program, on my computer and every time I opened it, it asked if I wanted to make it my default calendar program. I ticked the box and after that, every time I opened my computer, this annoying "My Day" window would open and I had to wait for it to open before doing anything. After a while, this made me incredibly annoyed and I stupidly deleted the iCal application thinking that I'd never use it anyway. Well, now I kind of want it again and I don't know what to do. How do I re-download iCal, or Mac applications in general, I suppose? Tl;dr: Accidentally deleted iCal, how do I re-download it? Yeah, I am a tool :/ Ophey 1 Yen| Ikura?

[29 Jul 2009|12:17am] [ mood | okay ] Oh dear, exactly two weeks until I go to Sweden. I am feeling less and less great about this :S On a happier note, tomorrow is the last day of exams. My first two exams went quite well, and I'm not too concerned about kanji. Then I am free, finally. The reading portion of our exam today was this interesting article. It said that adults, and not children, experience nostalgia and feel the need to keep things because they actually have a sense of time passing. Children, on the other hand, only keep things they actively enjoy and use since they can only understand the present. It's an interesting idea, and I'm inclined to agree with it. Ophey 1 Yen| Ikura?

[09 May 2009|08:02pm] I'm currently in Frankfurt, waiting to get on my flight to Tokyo. They charged me 8 Euros for internet, and although I don't really know how much that is, I am not impressed in the slightest. So it goes though, and at least it gives me something to do for the next hour. I feel like I should have more to say, but I am essentially just faffing on the internet in order to make the money worth it. Tokyo soon! Ophey Ikura?

[02 May 2009|12:12am] [ mood | happy ] [ music | The Park // Feist ] You guys, guess where I am updating from. Ok, I will tell you. I am updating from my new Macbook, using wireless in my room in Sweden. There are very few things I miss about Windows, and the things I miss are made up for by all the functions I have on this. I just can't believe how easy it is, how convenient it is, and how much I can customize. Awesome! Ophey Ikura?

[28 Mar 2009|08:02pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Ion Square // Bloc Party ] I don't mean to speak lightly of the Maguindanao rebel conflict, but does anyone else find it hilarious that the Moro Islamic Liberation Front is acronymed to MILF? Because I totally do. Ophey 1 Yen| Ikura?

[21 Jan 2009|08:55pm] [ mood | bouncy ] HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY JEANNIE! <3 <3 <3 Please enjoy your last year of being an underage drinker in the U.S. and your first year of being able to buy cigarettes in Japan. Love, Ophey 1 Yen| Ikura?

[13 Jan 2009|04:53pm] [ mood | annoyed ] I've decided to quit teaching the kid. I am 95% sure I will do it, but seeing as I haven't been there in like 4 weeks I'll see what happens when I go on Sunday. Emma and I are quitting our jobs together and are both saying that we got an internship so we have to stop teaching English. I feel a little bit bad lying though, but the irony is that in Japan I feel more comfortable lying and saying something like this than being direct and saying that her house is too far away which makes it too time-consuming, and I should probably focus on my studies. I am drafting the e-mail now and I do plan to say that I need to focus on my studies (the Japanese Proficiency Test in June, in particular) but I am being a lot less direct than I would be in English or Swedish. In English or Swedish I would be pretty comfortable being honest (minus the fact that her kid is ultra-spoiled and gives me a hard time) so I guess this is one time when I wish I wasn't in this sort of culture. We'll see how it goes. I'm pondering sending it this week, then saying that I have to stop teaching by February 10th. Ugh, I should've thought about the fact that it's far away and that I'm gone for most of spring. Ophey 1 Yen| Ikura?

[24 Dec 2008|08:23am] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | The Boxer // Simon and Garfunkel ] Merry Christmas! It is a shame I have so many things to do today. I need to finish my dad's present (he wants a CD of me playing guitar, or "jamming," rather), wrap some more presents, and write rhymes/poems. It's a Swedish tradition where basically we write little rhymes or poems on packages with clues as to what we've given someone. An example off the top of my head which is well below the standards of my award-winning writing is, "On days when you can't just stay in bed, At least this will warm your head," for a hat. 4 lines are usually my minumum, and last year I wrote two that were about 14 lines long. My brother in particular goes all out and has written some brilliant stuff. Basically, I am swamped today. I went over to Johan's yesterday to give him, Hikaru and Shannon (my niece, in case I have never mentioned me having one) some presents. Got 3 month-old Shannon adorable socks and a long-sleeved *insert English word for baby clothes here*. The experience of buying stuff for her has made me realized that I hate shopping for little girls' clothing. I will go as far as to say that the process depresses me. It's because of the obnoxious gender stereotypes where everything for boys is blue, green, red, with writing about sports, outdoor activities, and the word "cool" whereas clothing for girls is exclusively pink, purple or white with stuff like, "Princess," "Cute," "Daddy's Girl," and variations on some line about how spoiled and fussy girls are. The colours are obviously quite obnoxious and inconvenient as I hate pink but Hikaru is the ultimate girly girl. More than that though, I hate the assumption that girls are just supposed to look "cute" and not do anything while boys are supposed to be "cool" and are supposed to be challenged by sports and, in the holiday season in particular, by building snowmen, snowboarding, and being in snowball fights. It's just a very early indoctrination into the roles of cute, docile girl and strong, physically active boy. You shouldn't impose these stereotypes on either sex, but it's blatantly more harmful to girls when you heavily imply that they can't do things that boys can. Speaking of Gap where I found all this stuff though, the division is perpetuated in toddler to 10 year-olds' clothing and isn't just restricted to 3 - 6 month baby clothing. I was shocked at the fact that they sold little purses in Gap for 5 year-olds and shoes which blatantly were not fit for a lot of mobility. It reminds me of how reflected this attitude is in how adults act towards babies. Yesterday when we were all with Shannon, all anyone ever said to her was basically, "You're so cute! Yes you are," or "You're sooo pretty!" Whereas with Hugo in Sweden it's all about, "You're so strong, you're a real tough guy now"-sort of thing. It's no wonder that nearly everyone starts fitting into their assigned gender stereotypes at an early age. In my perfect world you would say the same thing to either sex, and the idea of "cuteness" as an ideal trait would be abolished. Oh, us young'uns (me, Philip, Julia, Sebastian, Fredrik) made a gingerbread house yesterday. It is totally fug, but I love it either way in its uniqueness. We also decorated the tree which was basically equally fug. There was a distinct paucity of branches; we didn't exactly luck out in terms of the tree this year. We did our best though and had fun in the process. Off to jog, shower, record, write rhymes/poems, wrap presents, and get ready for a kickass day. I asked for a melodica, will see if I am lucky enough :D - Ophey 2 Yen| Ikura?

[12 Nov 2008|08:23pm] [ mood | nervous ] I think I have a job! I put my profile up on a teaching website a while ago, and as I mentioned earlier I hadn't gotten any offers. I was pretty sure it was because I specified that I'd rather teach women or children (to avoid lots of offers from lonely Japanese men). I got a reply a few days ago though and now I may have a job teaching these two kids. They are hella young - 2 and 6, and both have learned English before - but I think it could be fun. I am especially proud of the fact that the conversation with the mother was entirely in Japanese and I spoke more coherently than I have ever spoken in such an official situation. It was a much-needed Japanese self-esteem boost, honestly. I am nervous because I haven't taught before and I am not around children a lot, but I will have to figure out a general plan. The mother and I agreed that cards, games, and songs would be the best and I plan to do some stories. Yay for work experience! Yay for jobs! - Ophey 1 Yen| Ikura?

[08 Nov 2008|10:02am] [ mood | calm ] First off, yay for Obama, but secondly, I am pretty disappointed in all the anti-gay measures that were passed on Wednesday. So it goes. Remember those days when church and state were separate? A serious question that I would really like some input for: Before I leave for university - perhaps sooner rather than later considering the state of my desktop - I need to buy a laptop. The problem is that I am incredibly undecided about which one. The main decision I need help on is whether to get a Mac or a PC. I don't know a lot about computers (I can use them, but I have no knowledge of graphics, hardware, etc.), but basically what I definitely want at this point is a built in microphone and webcam, iTunes, a DVD-viewing program, pretty fast processing capability, and internet obviously. I do want a fair bit of memory space - perhaps 160gb or so, which they do have for both Macs and PC's - but beyond this list I don't care very much. I was pretty ambivalent the other day so I e-mailed my brother's York psych-major friend, but she just told me that you could get by with both but you really just needed the basic programs, e.g. Word, Excell, or their equivalents. So please, can anyone here who has a laptop give me some input? If you're a hardcore Mac-user, tell me why and give me some reasons, if you're a hardcore PC-user, let me know why and tell me what you think I should do. PC's have the benefit of me knowing how to operate them, but after my recent spyware problem, I have realized how nice it'd be to have a pretty much virus and spyware free computer, and how nice it'd be to know where to take my computer and what to do with it. Then again, I don't want it to be like my old Mac days (middle school) where I constantly have problems converting files and everything. Please! Help! - Ophey (longer entry coming up later maybe) 6 Yen| Ikura?

[25 Oct 2008|03:44pm] [ mood | happy ] You guys have got to watch this: http://jp.youtube.com/watch?v=9nlwwFZdXck&eurl It's called the Palin song. Not sure if it's something everyone's already seen. It's someone playing the piano to the Palin Couric interview, and it actually sounds like a song. I lol'd very hard, I recommend it. - Ophey Ikura?

[06 Oct 2008|10:15pm] [ mood | okay ] Quick question: Why aren't all Americans automatically registered to vote? I don't mean this as a rhetorical question or criticism of America. I assume that there's a good reason, I am just curious. 5 Yen| Ikura?

[10 Sep 2008|01:01am] [ mood | ecstatic ] Oh. My. God. I think... I'm making friends? Or something? It's such a crazy feeling. I've added three people from Sophia University on FB - Michael, Jonathan, and Miriam, in case I reference them again - and I'm actually talking to two of them. I may have made the error, however, of speaking French with Jonathan. I will see if I end up regretting that but so far so good, as long as I don't have one of those awkward moments where I have no idea what he's talking about.  So, in case you can't tell from my past two entries (and probably more to come, sorry), it really has hit me that I could possibly be having a great year as opposed to one where I'd just be killing time for York, as I originally anticipated. - Ophey Ikura?

[23 Aug 2008|06:29pm] [ mood | hungry ] So I finally saw The Dark Knight and unfortunately I found it massively overrated. I guess it was interesting and exciting but I really don't like action movies so I wasn't really engaged in all the chases and fighting scenes. It doesn't help that I didn't really understand the ending or even appreciated it. I'm glad I saw it so I know what the hype was about but I won't see it again. Also, wtf @ the Cuban Tae Kwon Do (sp?) athlete who kicked the judge in the face. I am sad that Sweden has massively sucked during these olympics, but so it goes. When you tally up all the summer olympic medals ever, though, Sweden ranks 9th which I find quite impressive. But who am I kidding: we really have sucked ass this year. Apparently Joe Biden is Obama's running mate. I am sure I will be enlightened by one of Will's entries soon but I really have no idea what it means, or what Biden is like. I was secretly hoping for a woman because it seemed like a pretty bamf idea but whatever, really. Still just sort of chilling, still waiting to go back home on Friday. - Ophey Ikura?

[16 Aug 2008|05:17am] [ mood | sleepy ] Can someone tell me the difference between: 熱い　and 暑い and 生きる　and 活きる I am stumped :/ - Ophey 4 Yen| Ikura?

[14 Aug 2008|09:37pm] [ mood | okay ] There's this 40 year-old-ish French woman here for lunch and when she speaks Swedish, she speaks it like it's French. That's beside the point though. Apparently she and her ex-husband both take in foreign/exchange students in Paris, and I have decided to make that my plan. If York doesn't allow me to take a year abroad I will go there after my BSc degree or something. How exciting! - Ophey Ikura?

[02 Aug 2008|06:19pm] [ mood | apathetic ] I'm still at my cousin's just to eat dinner for the night. My parents arrive in like an hour or something. I'm just updating because I'm in a slightly awk' situation. They're having two other couples over, so now in total there is a 3 year-old, a 2.5 year-old, a 1.5 year-old, a 2 month-old, and a 2 week-old baby here. It's not that I mind children, but I can honestly say that I am not that great with them, beyond what little skills I had with busmonitoring. I went upstairs to go on the computer but I'm not sure if that is a rude thing to do. Eh, whatever. I've been watching a bunch of reality/trashy TV lately, and I have come to three conclusions. 1. I generally hate Chef Gordon Ramsay. 2. I love the MTV show Next, even though it is horrible. 3. I will never understand the girls who aspire to be in a group like the Pussycat Dolls, and actually willingly compete to join Girlicious. I finished The Color Purple today and it was beautiful. I loved it, and the last few pages were incredible to read. Wow, definitely. It makes me regret not having any more fiction to read except for the book Erica sent me. So it goes. Also, fuck this insane heat. It is driving me crazy. The weather was terrible for a while - rain every day, and no temperature above 20 degrees - but now it borders on 30 every day and there is not one gust of wind, like, ever. What makes it worse is that there is absolutely no AC in Sweden anywhere, and I would like to work at the chocolate store but we are not able to until it cools down a little bit or else nothing will work. - Ophenator Ikura?

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